Christmas List #1: Invisibility Cloak

For those of you who don’t know, while working on my master’s degree I’ve worked in the RFID Lab on campus.  Last week at one of our workgroup meetings, another Engineering Graduate student (the electrical kind) was presenting his recent research entitled, “RFID and Metamaterials: Now things get interesting.”  The title was misleading.  The incredibly theoretical presentation, along with a painfully practical audience made for what one would consider a “tough gig.”  However, a few minutes into the presentation, something was said that led me to believe that in the midst of my spacing out, J.K. Rowling had slipped up to the front of the room and taken over the presentation without me realizing it.

The negative indices of refraction present in many metamaterials has been demonstrated to provide a “cloaking” effect at microwave frequencies.

With metamaterials, awakward moments like this one may one day be avoidable

A cloaking effect!  Instantly, I stopped contemplating whether or not I would actually find a date to that weekend’s drumline formal (a high school homecoming-esque event that involves dressing up, dinner, and a lot more alcohol than dances in the Eisenhower cafeteria) and was completely engaged in the presentation.  The moment I had been waiting for since Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone had finally arrived: I could finally add an invisibility cloak to my Christmas list!  However, to my shock, the nerdy audience didn’t even acknowledge the incredible breakthrough mentioned by the presenter and the subject was quickly changed when the next slide read, “Metamaterials can be created in broad ranges of the electromagnetic spectrum as well as acoustics.”  Shit.

As disappointing as the remaining 20 minutes of the presentation were, science is acknowledging that metamaterials may one day make an invisibility cloak a possibility (due to 2008 research at UC Berkley, 2006 research at Duke, and research in Scotland).  Just imagine the possibilities:

• I could have totally dominated the recent 3,000 person snowball fight on Bascom Hill.
• Sneaking drinks into Summerfest would become a joke.
• A few years ago I could have stolen Rob’s textbooks and he would have had no other choice but to go out with us instead of studying.
• I wouldn’t miss a Packer Game at Lambeau for the rest of my life
• Mess up Andrew’s immaculate bedroom

What would you do?

My current totem pole

A friend of mine, who also happens to be the Assistant Dean of the College of Engineering, brought this cartoon from www.phdcomics.com to my attention on facebook the other day.

The main thing that’s surprising to me is not that Football coaches make over a million dollars, but rather the gross overestimate of Grad Student salaries.  If I made $17,784 right now, I’d be living a lavish life of Qdoba, Spotted Cow, and Tostitos hint of lime chips, instead of El Monterey frozen burritos, PBR, and “badger” chips.  Nonetheless, the graph got me curious.  Here’s my current totem poll at UW-Madison (from the WSJ UW-Madison Salary Database):

• $91,870 – my band director (who I’ve learned more from than most of my professors)
• $103,000 – my supervisor
• $141,707 – my supervisor’s supervisor
• $164,933 – my department chair
• $244,525 – college of engineering dean
• $400,000 – Brett Bielema (bachelor’s degree in marketing)
• $600,000 – Barry Alvarez

Is Wisconsin overweight or is my waist size really that unusual?

I was at Kohl’s a few days ago, “expecting great things,” and picking up a new belt for my upcoming interviews.  Like most male shopping, this was a straight forward purchase and my plan was to be in and out (that’s what she said).  After a quick browse of the belt racks I realized that Kohl’s had a pretty large selection of belts – if in fact you are overweight with a 40 inch waist.  I literally could not find a belt that fit my 30 inch waist (many of them could have almost wrapped around twice).  So I checked out the “boys” department.  Unfortunately, although they had my size, most of these belts either had flames or were studded (which would likely not impress any of my interviewers).  Questions began running through my head:

• “Is Wisconsin really this morbidly obese?” – No, actually, I’ve looked into it.
• “Do people with 30 inch waists wear belts?”
• “Is my 30 inch waist size such an anomaly that Kohl’s has no reason to carry this size?”
• “Should I stop at Qdoba on my way home from Kohl’s?” (this wasn’t related to my belt problem, but is always a very valid question).

Applying my Human Factors coursework, I set out to answer my questions through anthropometrics.  I remembered Professor Smith teaching me that the US Military has a lot of available data, so I turned to the 1991 Anthropometry of U.S. Military Personnel report (pages 454 & 455).  Their results are all in centimeters, but here’s how my 30 inch waist (≈76.2 centimeters) stacks up to the other men measured by the US government (I didn’t include the women because I am not one).

 

Statistical Values for Waist Circumference (Natural Indentation)
No.	Series	N	Mean	SE(M)	S.D.	SE(SD)	V(%)	Range
								Min.	Max.	Total
1	US Army Men (1988)	1,774	83.99	0.18	7.40	0.12	8.80	64.7	112.2	47.5
2	USAF Flying Personnel (1950)	4,000	81.23	0.12	7.49	0.08	9.22	62.0	119.3	57.3
3	US Army Men (1946)	24,472	77.73	0.04	7.01	0.03	9.02	59.0	119.0	60.0

 

Percentile Values for Waist Circumference (Natural Indentation)
No.	Series	Percentiles in Centimeters – Median										Range
		1st	2nd	5th	10th	25th	50th	75th	90th	98th	99th	(1st-99th)
1	US Army Men (1988)	69.9	71.1	73.0	74.9	78.6	83.4	88.8	94.0	100.6	102.9	32.9
2	USAF Flying Personnel (1950)	67.5	68.7	70.5	72.3	75.7	80.4	85.9	91.5	98.8	101.3	33.8
3	US Army Men (1946)	65.0	66.3	68.3	69.8	72.9	76.7	81.3	86.6	95.8	99.3	34.3

Waist Circumference Graph: Me vs. US Military Men

So what did I learn?  (1) Kohl’s seems uninterested in selling belts to customers with my very prevalent waist size and (2) my future belt purchases will be conducted elsewhere.  And if you were wondering, yes, I did stop at Qdoba on the way home with the hope that enough Qdoba will eventually move me into Kohl’s targeted waist size.

Television Revolution: The programs that ran my life

The Disney Afternoon: 1991 Lineup

Throughout my life, quality lineups of TV programming seem to take an interesting hold on my day-to-day activities.  Here’s the progression as I remember it in what I like to call my own Television Revolution: The programs that ran my life.

1991: The Disney Afternoon
3:00 – Duck Tales
3:30 - Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers
4:00 - Tale Spin
4:30 – Darkwing Duck
In 1992, Duck Tales was moved to weekday mornings and was replaced with Goof Troop (more quality Disney programming).  Although I missed Duck Tales, I liked Goof Troop so much that when my family went to Disney world in 1994 I remember crying when Goofy’s autograph smeared because I thought it was that valuable.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  At this phase of my life I really had nothing else going on from 3:00 until 5:00 (especially in the winter).  Plus, these shows were easy to have on in the background while I played with Legos.

1993-95: TGIF
8:00 – Family Matters
8:30 – Boy Meets World
9:00 – Step by Step
9:30 – Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper
Although TGIF started in 1988 and included three shows that I barely remember, it became a staple of my elementary school Friday nights.  The 1990-91 lineup of Full House, Family Matters, Dinosaurs (think “not the momma”), and Step by Step was stellar in its own right, but I believe that the real TGIF glory days came from 1993-95.  Boy Meets World is such quality programming that I made it my routine to catch it at 1:00 AM on the Disney Channel when I got home from the library during my junior year of college.  Some nights I felt like I was learning more from Mr. Feeny than I was from my Physics book.  Then the Disney Channel began playing Hannah Montana reruns in the 1:00 AM timeslot and, despite an angry e-mail to the Disney channel, hasn’t been on since.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I didn’t want to be left out of the conversation during Monday morning recess.  Plus, watching TGIF was a great excuse to have someone sleep over on a Friday night (we literally couldn’t come up with anything better to do on Fridays back then).

90s: Before School
Bobby’s World and eventually Rugrats (once I was mature enough) comprised my before school TV lineup.  There was no real “lineup” of programming in the mornings – I guess because they wanted kids to actually go to school.  As a side note, I now own Bobby’s World on DVD and it makes for great A-Bar entertainment.

1995-96: Must See TV
8:00 – Friends
8:30 – The Single Guy
9:00 – Seinfeld
9:30 – Caroline in the City (I guess)
10:00 – ER (I guess)
Another longstanding TV lineup, “Must See TV,” actually had its start in 1993.  Seinfeld easily dominated this lineup (unless you’re a woman and then you’d say Friends) and the second timeslot perennially sucked.  Actually, for about five years, I’m pretty sure that NBC planned to put whatever crappy shows they had lying around before and after Friends and Seinfeld.  I would give an honorable mention to Frasier, which made the lineup a few seasons, and a dishonorable mention to ER, which ran approximately 15 years too long.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I would still consider Seinfeld to be the best show ever created and, although girly, Friends did have its moments.  By this time in my life I had regular homework and Thursday night television was the best form of procrastination I knew of since I still largely thought the internet was comprised of those channels that came with AOL.

Today: Television à la carte
Gone are the days when a lineup is of such quality that I actually schedule my whole day around it.  Today, if I want to catch one of my favorite shows (like The Office), I just tell my computer to record it.  The chances of there being two shows in a row that I want to watch are very unlikely.  Re-runs are plentiful and streaming video sites like Hulu and YouTube make watching Seinfeld extremely easy.  Today, when I want to watch shows like Dexter, Entourage, or The New Yankee Workshop (I’m probably the only viewer under 50 years old), I download them on torrents and am watching them a minute later.  Interesting that in 1992 I watched The Disney Afternoon because I had too much free time and today, there are too many shows available and the days are never long enough.

Delaware: Statistically the worst place to live

I finish grad school this spring.  Which means I will have to become a real person.  Which also means I’m currently in the midst of a job search.  As if this weren’t stressful enough, I also have the daunting task of figuring out where I want to live for the next few years.  I was thinking about this while sitting through a lecture on Utility Analysis of Healthcare Decisions last Friday and think I came up with a fool proof method. My conclusion: Delaware is the worst place to live in the US (from a completely unbiased, 23 year old, male perspective).  When it comes down to it, my criteria for choosing a place to live boil down to the following:

1. Price of Beer
2. Attractiveness of Women
3. Cost of Living
4. Weather
5. Music Entertainment
6. Sports Entertainment

Average Pint of Beer Price by State
Rank	State	Price/Pint
1	South Dakota	$1.66
2	Arkansas	$1.75
3	West Virginia	$1.87
4	Mississippi	$2.26
5	Iowa	$2.32
6	Kentucky	$2.34
7	Nebraska	$2.41
8	Wisconsin	$2.44
9	Illinois	$2.45
11	Missouri	$2.48
11	Kansas	$2.48
12	Ohio	$2.52
13	Michigan	$2.56
15	Virginia	$2.64
15	South Carolina	$2.64
16	Pennsylvania	$2.66
17	North Dakota	$2.73
18	Texas	$2.76
19	New Mexico	$2.77
20	Maine	$2.78
21	Montana	$2.81
22	Florida	$2.84
23	Utah	$2.87
24	Tennessee	$2.89
25	Arizona	$2.91
26	North Carolina	$2.92
27	New York	$2.93
28	Louisiana	$2.99
29	New Hampshire	$3.01
30	Indiana	$3.04
31	Minnesota	$3.05
32	Alabama	$3.08
33	Hawaii	$3.10
34	Maryland	$3.19
35	Vermont	$3.30
36	Washington	$3.34
37	Georgia	$3.46
38	Oregon	$3.57
39	California	$3.58
42	Alaska	$3.71
42	Oklahoma	$3.71
42	Rhode Island	$3.71
43	New Jersey	$3.75
45	Massachusetts	$3.86
45	Colorado	$3.86
46	Delaware	$4.12
47	Connecticut	$4.29
48	Nevada	$4.43
49	Idaho	no data available
50	Wyoming	no data available

1. Price of Beer
Beer currently constitutes a healthy chunk of my monthly credit card bill and, although I hope this spending will decrease when I become a real person, I’m sure it won’t disappear completely.  On Pintprice.com, users submit beer prices from cities all over the world and I was able to obtain hundreds of pint prices from US cities and calculate a per state average.

Limitations: Reporting of average pint price is voluntary, and therefore the sample size isn’t consistent; no data is available for Idaho and Wyoming (people must not drink there); the website didn’t indicate the recency of any of the prices.  Assumptions: Any submitted beer price <$1 was an outlier and therefore thrown out.

America’s Health Ratings by State
Rank	State	% Dev. from US Norm
1	Vermont	24.8
2	Hawaii	21.6
3	New Hampshire	19.9
4	Minnesota	18.8
5	Utah	18.2
6	Massachusetts	17.7
7	Connecticut	17.5
8	Idaho	16.1
9	Maine	15.3
10	Washington	14.9
11	Rhode Island	14
12	North Dakota	12.5
13	Nebraska	12
14	Wyoming	11.8
15	Iowa	11.6
16	Oregon	11.3
17	Wisconsin	10.3
18	New Jersey	9.8
19	Colorado	9.7
20	Virginia	9
21	South Dakota	7.5
22	Kansas	6.7
23	Montana	6.5
24	California	5.3
25	New York	3.8
26	Maryland	3.4
27	Michigan	2
28	Pennsylvania	2
29	New Mexico	1.7
30	Alaska	1.3
31	Illinois	0.8
32	Ohio	0.7
33	Arizona	0.4
34	Indiana	-0.6
35	Delaware	-1.6
36	North Carolina	-3.2
37	Kentucky	-3.6
38	Missouri	-4.9
39	West Virginia	-5
40	Alabama	-7
41	Georgia	-7.8
42	Nevada	-7.9
43	Arkansas	-8.1
44	Oklahoma	-8.1
45	Florida	-8.9
46	Texas	-9
47	Tennessee	-9.7
48	South Carolina	-10.7
49	Mississippi	-15
50	Louisiana	-15.2

2. Attractiveness of Women
Since I’m single, this is an important one since I’m likely to date some ladies in my new home town and attractiveness would be a plus.  Also, my stock is probably only going down at this point.  I figured that a decent predictor of female attractiveness in my hypothetical new state would be America’s Health Ratings.  The data is expressed as a percent deviation from the national norm.

3. Cost of Living
In addition to beer prices being reasonable, since I’ll likely buy things other than beer once in a while, a low overall cost of living would probably be nice. The US Government’s Consumer Price Index (CPI), although not exactly cost of living, is a pretty good indicator of this.

Consumer Price Index (CPI) by State
Rank	State	Consumer Price Index (CPI)
1	Arizona	117.335
4	Maryland	140.810
4	Virginia	140.810
4	West Virginia	140.810
5	Alaska	190.032
6	Texas	196.175
7	Missouri	198.261
8	Kentucky	198.945
9	Kansas	199.152
10	Ohio	199.752
11	Indiana	200.244
12	Wisconsin	200.999
13	Georgia	203.351
14	Michigan	204.673
15	Florida	204.955
19	Iowa	205.632
19	Nebraska	205.632
19	North Dakota	205.632
19	South Dakota	205.632
20	Minnesota	206.167
21	Colorado	207.444
29	Alabama	209.000
29	Arkansas	209.000
29	Louisiana	209.000
29	Mississippi	209.000
29	North Carolina	209.000
29	Oklahoma	209.000
29	South Carolina	209.000
29	Tennessee	209.000
30	Pennsylvania	210.468
31	Illinois	211.441
32	Oregon	214.102
38	Idaho	219.884
38	Montana	219.884
38	Nevada	219.884
38	New Mexico	219.884
38	Utah	219.884
38	Wyoming	219.884
39	Delaware	226.039
40	Washington	227.138
42	Rhode Island	230.883
42	Vermont	230.883
43	New Jersey	232.161
46	Maine	233.018
46	Massachusetts	233.018
46	New Hampshire	233.018
47	Connecticut	235.650
48	New York	238.282
49	California	421.605
50	Hawaii	627.870

Assumptions: I would live near a large city in each state (since CPI represents urban areas).  Limitations: If no CPI state data was available, I took regional average (shown above in italic).

Average Days of Sunshine by State
Rank	State	Average Days/Year
1	Arizona	90.0
2	Nevada	79.0
3	New Mexico	71.0
4	Colorado	72.7
5	California	74.8
6	Utah	66.0
7	Florida	69.3
8	Kansas	65.8
9	Arkansas	68.3
10	Wyoming	67.3
11	Texas	69.8
12	Oklahoma	61.0
13	Idaho	63.0
14	Louisiana	63.0
15	Nebraska	63.5
16	South Dakota	64.0
17	Georgia	63.3
18	Mississippi	63.0
19	South Carolina	62.0
20	Virginia	62.3
21	North Carolina	62.5
22	Iowa	62.0
23	Hawaii	61.3
24	North Dakota	60.0
25	Montana	58.8
26	Missouri	58.5
27	Tennessee	58.0
28	Alabama	58.3
29	Rhode Island	58.0
30	Indiana	57.3
31	Illinois	57.4
32	Kentucky	58.5
33	Maine	57.0
34	Maryland	57.0
35	Connecticut	56.0
36	New Jersey	56.0
37	Massachusetts	57.0
38	Minnesota	58.0
39	Wisconsin	56.7
40	Pennsylvania	55.5
41	New York	53.8
42	Ohio	52.2
43	Michigan	51.3
44	Vermont	49.0
45	Oregon	48.0
46	Washington	49.8
47	New Hampshire	44.0
48	West Virginia	40.0
49	Alaska	38.3
50	Delaware	no data available

4. Weather
Living in Wisconsin can be rough and when Winter seems to span from September until May during some years, it’s hard not to think about places like California and Florida.  Living in a place that has nicer weather that Wisconsin would probably improve my well-being (especially during January and February).  To analyze weather by state, I used the National Climate Data Center’s Average Percent of Possible Sunshine data.

Number of Concerts by State
Rank	State	Concerts
1	Missouri	2053
2	California	2048
3	New York	1439
4	Illinois	1207
5	Florida	696
6	Ohio	684
7	Pennsylvania	663
8	Massachusetts	646
9	Nevada	612
10	Texas	587
11	Washington	511
12	Michigan	439
13	Minnesota	362
14	New Jersey	313
15	Virginia	303
16	Maryland	274
17	Colorado	265
18	Georgia	250
19	Arizona	223
20	Louisiana	214
21	Tennessee	197
22	Oregon	187
23	North Carolina	185
24	Kentucky	152
25	Indiana	139
26	Wisconsin	133
27	Mississippi	130
28	Iowa	102
29	Connecticut	79
30	South Carolina	67
31	Alabama	64
32	Idaho	58
33	Kansas	57
34	New Mexico	57
35	Nebraska	25
36	West Virginia	25
37	Rhode Island	23
38	North Dakota	19
39	New Hampshire	11
40	Arkansas	10
41	South Dakota	9
42	Oklahoma	8
43	Wyoming	7
44	Hawaii	6
45	Maine	5
46	Alaska	3
48	Delaware	2
48	Vermont	2
50	Montana	1
50	Utah	1

5. Music Entertainment
Entertainment offered is crucial to having a social life outside of work and since I like concerts, plays, and especially Neil Diamond, I felt I needed to include this factor.  If cost of living is low, but there is nothing worthwhile to spend my extra money on anyway, I might as well just move back in with my parents.  To try to represent how many concerts are offered in each state, on 9-27-09, I searched ticketmaster.com for musical events in each state.

6. Sports Entertainment
Another important entertainment factor is how many sporting events I will be able to attend.  Therefore, I included in my analysis the total number of major professional sports teams in each state.

Pro Sports Teams by State
Rank	State	Pro Sports Teams
1	California	18
3	New York	10
3	Texas	10
4	Florida	9
5	Pennsylvania	8
7	Maryland	7
7	Ohio	7
9	Illinois	6
9	Missouri	6
11	Colorado	5
11	Massachusetts	5
16	Arizona	4
16	Georgia	4
16	Michigan	4
16	Minnesota	4
16	Wisconsin	4
19	North Carolina	3
19	Tennessee	3
19	Washington	3
24	Indiana	2
24	Louisiana	2
24	New Jersey	2
24	Oregon	2
24	Utah	2
25	Oklahoma	1

Assumptions: Since I would rather watch Wisconsin Badger football or basketball over any professional sport, I added an additional professional sport to Wisconsin’s total.  For geographic purposes, I included Washington D.C. as a part of Maryland.  Also, this data assumes that I care about the NBA.  In reality, in the last decade, I have really only attended pro football and baseball games.

Results

To compare results across the six criteria, I linearly transformed the data to a 0 to 100 scale.  The equation to obtain this new score is shown at right.  If low values were preferred instead of high values (such as price of beer and CPI), the result was subtracted from one before multiplying by 100.  After applying this transformation to the data, the following scores result.

State	Price of Beer Score	Attractive Women Score	CPI Score	Sunshine Score	Concerts Score	Pro Sports Score		AVERAGE SCORE
California	30.8	51.3	40.4	73.0	99.8	100.0		65.9
Missouri	70.5	25.8	84.1	44.0	100.0	33.3		59.6
New York	54.1	47.5	76.3	28.1	70.1	55.6		55.3
Arizona	54.8	39.0	100.0	100.0	10.8	22.2		54.5
Illinois	71.3	40.0	81.6	41.3	58.8	33.3		54.4
Texas	60.2	15.5	84.6	59.0	28.6	55.6		50.6
Florida	57.3	15.8	82.8	62.6	33.9	50.0		50.4
Pennsylvania	64.0	43.0	81.8	33.5	32.3	44.4		49.8
Utah	56.3	83.5	79.9	64.8	0.0	11.1		49.3
Minnesota	49.9	85.0	82.6	37.0	17.6	22.2		49.1
South Dakota	100.0	56.8	82.7	54.1	0.4	0		49.0
Ohio	68.8	39.8	83.9	28.0	33.3	38.9		48.8
Virginia	64.5	60.5	95.4	49.1	14.7	0		47.4
Wisconsin	71.8	63.8	83.6	34.9	6.4	22.2		47.1
Nebraska	73.0	68.0	82.7	54.6	1.2	0		46.6
Colorado	20.5	62.3	82.4	73.3	12.9	27.8		46.5
Maryland	44.7	46.5	95.4	40.2	13.3	38.9		46.5
Iowa	76.3	67.0	82.7	47.7	4.9	0		46.4
Massachusetts	20.6	82.3	77.3	37.0	31.4	27.8		46.1
Kansas	70.4	54.8	84.0	60.0	2.7	0		45.3
New Mexico	59.9	42.3	79.9	79.7	2.7	0		44.1
Michigan	67.6	43.0	82.9	24.9	21.3	22.2		43.7
Idaho	no data available	78.3	79.9	56.2	2.8	0		43.4
North Dakota	61.3	69.3	82.7	45.6	0.9	0		43.3
Arkansas	96.7	17.8	82.0	59.8	0.4	0		42.8
Maine	59.5	76.3	77.3	41.3	0.2	0		42.4
Washington	39.3	75.3	78.5	14.6	24.9	16.7		41.5
Wyoming	no data available	67.5	79.9	59.8	0.3	0		41.5
Vermont	40.7	100.0	77.8	24.2	0.0	0		40.5
North Carolina	54.6	30.0	82.0	48.4	9.0	16.7		40.1
Montana	58.6	54.3	79.9	45.0	0.0	0		39.6
Kentucky	75.5	29.0	84.0	41.3	7.4	0		39.5
Indiana	50.0	36.5	83.8	42.7	6.7	11.1		38.5
New Jersey	24.6	62.5	77.5	39.1	15.2	11.1		38.3
New Hampshire	51.2	87.8	77.3	12.5	0.5	0		38.2
Georgia	35.0	18.5	83.2	53.4	12.1	22.2		37.4
Tennessee	55.5	13.8	82.0	44.0	9.6	16.7		36.9
Rhode Island	25.9	73.0	77.8	43.4	1.1	0		36.9
Oregon	31.1	66.3	81.0	22.1	9.1	11.1		36.8
Mississippi	78.3	0.5	82.0	53.0	6.3	0		36.7
West Virginia	92.4	25.5	95.4	5.0	1.2	0		36.6
South Carolina	64.4	11.3	82.0	52.7	3.2	0		35.6
Louisiana	51.8	0.0	82.0	56.2	10.4	11.1		35.3
Nevada	0.0	18.3	79.9	82.4	29.8	0		35.1
Connecticut	5.0	81.8	76.8	39.1	3.8	0		34.4
Alabama	48.7	20.5	82.0	43.4	3.1	0		32.9
Oklahoma	25.9	17.8	82.0	58.4	0.3	5.6		31.7
Hawaii	48.1	92.0	0.0	46.1	0.2	0		31.1
Alaska	25.9	41.3	85.8	0.0	0.1	0		25.5
Delaware	11.1	34.0	78.7	no data available	0.0	0		24.8

In averaging the six criteria (instead of using a weighted average with importance ratings for each criteria) to calculate my overall state ranking, I’m assuming that they are of equal importance.  In reality, living somewhere with cheap beer is probably much more important than living somewhere with attractive women.  So there you have it.  It looks like I’ll be applying as much as possible in California, while avoiding Delaware like the plague.  Feel free to suggest any additional criteria that you think I should have included in my analysis.

Update 10-5-09: The complete data that I used to reach these results can be found here.

Play Density: Not actually “All Neil Diamond all the time”

After others jumped on the band wagon that is “Play Density,” I figured it was time to give it a whirl (as Kevin McCallister would say).  Play Density is the ratio of song play count vs. the number of days its been in your library and, in V2, was refined to exclude songs in your library newer than seven days old.  To my surprise, although my iTunes playlist has been named “All Neil Diamond all the time” since I began sharing it Freshman year in the dorms, my Play Density includes very little Neil.

My biggest surprises include the prevalence of Enrique and the sheer number of country songs.  Not surprising is the number of recordings of the UW Drumline Cadences (since I had to memorize it last year).  Try it for yourself.  Although, I’ll warn you, it was much harder to do in Windows than described on a mac.

Why Charter sucks and the last week in August was one of the best of my life

Friday, August 28 was truly a momentous day which I will forever remember for accomplishing one of my life’s greatest feats.  I’m actually not talking about finishing UW Marching Band Reg Week – which is the most physically demanding tryout week I have ever had to endure (much harder in fact than varsity football two-a-days).  I was happy that the days of six hour rehearsals and conditioning in the middle of August were over and regular rehearsal schedules would begin.  My much greater accomplishment, however, was managing to free myself of Madison’s own axis of evil, the Fourth Reich - Charter Communications.  Here are my own opinions why Charter is a terrible company and as I found, I’m evidently not alone.

1. Calling their customer service requires reading minds better than even Miss Cleo is capable.  Figuring out what I needed to say to their automated voice recognition software to actually talk to a human being took me 15 minutes.
2. I received junk mail about the charter bundle seven days a week – sometimes more than one letter a day – because Charter never removed past customers from my college address.  On more than one occasion I even threw away a bill because I thought it was more junk mail.  A company that knows anything about marketing should realize that convincing college students that they need a Landline would be an incredible accomplishment.
3. Figuring out what all of the charges, sub-charges, and sub-sub-charges on a bill actually mean is more confusing than computer science.  I had no idea what I was actually paying for and costs continually increased from month to month without Charter informing me.  Disputing these charges requires an hour long phone call (see #1) or threatening to switch to Direct TV.
4. Question: How hard is it to remove someone from an account?  Answer: Three phone calls and an eventual “required” trip to an actual Charter office.  This is something that should be easily done over the phone or the interweb.  Instead, we were told by two Charter employees that all I had to do was call and provide my SSN.  When I did that, the customer service “expert” told me that “no one would have told me that it was possible over the phone” and “sir, I’ve been working for Charter for 14 years, I think I know how to remove someone from an account.”  I think the only thing worse than being a Charter customer would probably be working 14 miserable years for the company…

What if I lived my life like Charter runs their business?

• When people owe me money, provide them with a list of chargeable sub-items which they do not understand.  For example, if I bought someone a beer at a bar, I would probably charge them for an intoxication fee, a money handling fee, a non-local beer fee (if it was an Anheuser Busch product), a pint glass renters fee, hangover insurance, and even a falangy fee (made up).
• Schedule appointments with people stating that I will arrive between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM.
• Constantly tell people how much money they could be saving if they bought two things that they don’t need and one that they actually do.
• Perform with mediocrity at both work and school, treat others as if they are indebted to me for the mediocre work, and then when I’m asked about it, provide people with a recording stating that my work isn’t actually mediocre.

Truthfully, I don’t believe Charter will be around long and hopefully filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on March 28, 2009 will speed up the process.  Much like AOL in the 90s, who once owned a large share of the internet market (cancelling an account with AOL literally took four hours – I remember doing it because my Dad didn’t have time), new players will come along, providing better customer service and a better product.  For example, AT&T has started providing cable and internet in Madison at a cheaper rate and seems like a much better option.

It’s finally official!

Marsha Rummel, 6th District Alderwoman who sponsored the Resolution to make the Flabongo the official bird of Madison

After years of hard work - transforming plastic flamingos into flabongos and drinking beer and the occasional franzia from their beaks – it’s finally official: the flabongo is now the official bird of Madison.  I would like to personally congratulate all those who made this possible, including my brother, roommate Andrew, Chilla the Gorilla, Warren, IIE, The Badgert Short Bus, Creepy J, and of course Marsha Rummel – the sponsor of the city council resolution.  I’m relieved that the Madison Common Council members are holding firm to the platforms for which they were each elected.  Now if only the university would let me take FAC for credit.

Joining the wikipedia nerds

By nature, Wikipedia is an unstable source of information.  For this same reason, editing wikipedia can be frustrating and the huge nerds who edit it a lot will get upset if you do it incorrectly.  Although I’ve edited and created numerous wikipedia pages (from the subcontinental divide to the short bus), the correct information that I posted is still being changed by different users.  A friend of mine asked me the other day how to make a new wikipedia article that he wrote more legitimate.  Here are some suggestions:

• Create an account – this is more credible, anonymous users can’t edit pages which are vandalized a lot and can’t create new pages, and it’s a nice way to monitor articles that you’ve edited.
• Make sure the article doesn’t already exist.  Sometimes a redirect from an acronym or to a synonymous page is a much better edit than to make a page for no reason.
• Have as many third party sources as possible and learn how to correctly format and cite them.
• Learn how to format different styles (headers, sub headers, etc.) and link correctly.
• Explain all the changes you made in the “Edit Summary” field.
• Click “Show Preview” before “Save Page” – saving numerous minor edits in a row will irritate the wikipedia geeks.
• Keep your information neutral – avoid writing about things for which you have a conflict of interest (see just one example below)
• Correctly categorize your article.
• People will probably change what you’ve written.  Find more sources and communicate why it’s correct.

I Found Incorrect Information About MY Company or Organization, What do I do?
Someone at a Web & Multichannel Marketing Meeting that I organized for my job asked me how to properly edit your own company’s wikipedia page a few weeks ago.  Generally, it is never recommended to edit your own wikipedia page, whether you’re Microsoft or Michael Jordan.  However, if you must do it, from what I can tell this is how you should proceed:

1. Post your issue on the article’s discussion page and clearly identify yourself (being logged in under a user name is always more credible) and explain the discrepancy.  Citing third party sources will always make your argument more credible too.  Eventually (hopefully), a reputable wikipedia editor will notice the discussion and make the change for you.
2. Strategically insert “citation needed” tags after incorrect information.  Here’s how to do it.  Eventually (hopefully), someone will notice the lack of sources and make the change for you.
3. Contact the author who posted the incorrect information, introduce yourself, present your case (with sources), and request that they correct their post.
4. If all else fails, sometimes you can get away with making a change yourself.  Correcting simple facts, such as dates or names is considered by some to be ok.  However, for more complex information, there’s a debate between whether it’s better to make the change anonymously or logged in with a user name, but in my opinion it’s best to be as transparent as possible when editing.  If some wikipedia nerds were to find out that a company employee was editing wikipedia anonymously it would not go over as well as if it were edited with a user name (just my opinion). 

From stubborn Milt Mason to foam headed Bernie Brewer

As I’ve written in other posts, being a brewers fan is not always an easy task and evidently 1970 (a 65-97 season) was no different.  Many are probably already familiar, but this was the year that Bernie Brewer was born.  However, Bernie started not as a large foam headed mascot with good hygiene, but rather a 69 year old retired aviation engineer (who I’ve heard, but haven’t confirmed, helped to build the original County Stadium).  This aviation engineer, Milt Mason, so loved the Brewers that to combat struggling attendance numbers during their first Milwaukee season, he stubbornly vowed (with a nudge from his friend, Marvin Milkes, the Brewers’ Operations Director) to sit on top of the scoreboard (81 steps high) until attendance at a home game reached 40,000 (at first his goal was a sellout but he eventually became more realistic).  He was even given a specially constructed trailer with a 21-inch-color TV, a gas stove, an exercise bike, a refrigerator, and two telephones for talking to fans and the media respectively.  Opposing coaches even accused him of stealing signs from his trailer with binoculars.  His goal was accomplished on Bat Day, August 16, 1970, when a crowd of 44,387 showed up just to get Milt down from the scoreboard (or wanted free bats).  To celebrate that day’s 4-3 victory over the Indians, Milt swung down from the scoreboard on a 30 foot rope (and supposedly badly burned his hands) before falling another 15 feet and breaking some bones.  Although I haven’t completely confirmed this, due to some pretty severe storms during those 40 days and Milt’s love of beer, I’ve heard that he could be smelled from just as far away as he could be seen on top of the scoreboard.  I’ve also heard that after those 40 days, Milt was never hard to find around County Stadium because fans could just follow their noses.  As a tribute to Milt, who died on June 12, 1973, Bernie Brewer became the team’s mascot in 1973 and celebrated Brewers’ success by sliding into a stein of beer (something that Miller Park has been criticized for omitting).  By the 1980s, Bernie began resembling wrestler Colonel DeBeers until he was retired in 1984.  Fortunately, in 1993, fans voted 21,751 to 1,389 to resurrect the Bernie Brewer that I grew up with and he returned on Tuesday, June 8, 1993 (who by then looked a lot more like Robin Yount).

Bonnie Brewer

As a side note, who knew that from 1973-79 there was also a Bonnie Brewer (Bernie has probably been lonely ever since).  Also, evidently, another blogger has also noticed that there seems to be a real lack of information on Milt Mason.  I’d love to see a picture or read some historical news accounts of the man.  I did just purchase True Brew: A Quarter Century With the Milwaukee Brewers – maybe it will shed a little more light on the subject.

Sources: Bernie Brewer makes comeback splash, USA Today, 1993, Wikipedia, brewers.com

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Update 7-23-09:  My new book, True Brew: A Quarter Century With the Milwaukee Brewers, has just arrived and it was well worth the $1.05 that it cost on amazon.com.  The chapter describing Milt has some great quotes from the man himself!  Here a some pictures of Milt Mason, the original Bernie Brewer, scanned from my new book.

 

Milt Mason Pictures from 1970

Milt Mason camped above the scoreboard during his 40 day protest	Milt Mason sliding down a rope after the win over the Indians	Milt Mason greeting fans at County Stadium

 

More Early Bernie Brewer Pictures

Bonnie Brewer spanking an Orioles coach during a seventh inning stretch	Bernie Brewer Slide 1978-83	Bernie’s Chalet being dismantled in ‘84 for outfield bleachers

 

Bernie’s Resurrection in ‘93

Bernie’s chalet in front of Country Stadium field	Bernie in his chalet (maybe falling over railing)	Bernie going down his slide
Bernie Brewer closeup going down his slide	Bernie Brewer slide backwards	Bernie putting out the vibe into the beer mug