A friend of mine, who also happens to be the Assistant Dean of the College of Engineering, brought this cartoon from www.phpcomics.com to my attention on facebook the other day.

The main thing that’s surprising to me is not that Football coaches make over a million dollars, but rather the gross overestimate of Grad Student salaries.  If I made $17,784 right now, I’d be living a lavish life of Qdoba, Spotted Cow, and Tostitos hint of lime chips, instead of El Monterey frozen burritos, PBR, and “badger” chips.  Nonetheless, the graph got me curious.  Here’s my current totem poll at UW-Madison (from the WSJ UW-Madison Salary Database):

• $91,870 – my band director (who I’ve learned more from than many engineering professors)
• $103,000 – my supervisor
• $141,707 – my supervisor’s supervisor
• $164,933 – my department chair
• $244,525 – college of engineering dean
• $400,000 – Brett Bielema (bachelor’s degree in marketing)
• $600,000 – Barry Alvarez

I was at Kohl’s a few days ago, “expecting great things,” and picking up a new belt for my upcoming interviews.  Like most male shopping, this was a straight forward purchase and my plan was to be in and out (that’s what she said).  After a quick browse of the belt racks I realized that Kohl’s had a pretty large selection of belts – if in fact you are overweight with a 40 inch waist.  I literally could not find a belt that fit my 30 inch waist (many of them could have almost wrapped around twice).  So I checked out the “boys” department.  Unfortunately, although they had my size, most of these belts either had flames or were studded (which would likely not impress any of my interviewers).  Questions began running through my head:

• “Is Wisconsin really this morbidly obese?” – No, actually, I’ve looked into it.
• “Do people with 30 inch waists wear belts?”
• “Is my 30 inch waist size such an anomaly that Kohl’s has no reason to carry this size?”
• “Should I stop at Qdoba on my way home from Kohl’s?” (this wasn’t related to my belt problem, but is always a very valid question).

Applying my Human Factors coursework, I set out to answer my questions through anthropometrics.  I remembered Professor Smith teaching me that the US Military has a lot of available data, so I turned to the 1991 Anthropometry of U.S. Military Personnel report (pages 454 & 455).  Their results are all in centimeters, but here’s how my 30 inch waist (≈76.2 centimeters) stacks up to the other men measured by the US government (I didn’t include the women because I am not one).

Waist Circumference Graph: Me vs. US Military Men

So what did I learn?  (1) Kohl’s seems uninterested in selling belts to customers with my very prevalent waist size and (2) my future belt purchases will be conducted elsewhere.  And if you were wondering, yes, I did stop at Qdoba on the way home with the hope that enough Qdoba will eventually move me into Kohl’s targeted waist size.

The Disney Afternoon: 1991 Lineup

Throughout my life, quality lineups of TV programming seem to take an interesting hold on my day-to-day activities.  Here’s the progression as I remember it in what I like to call my own Television Revolution: The programs that ran my life.

1991: The Disney Afternoon
3:00 – Duck Tales
3:30 - Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers
4:00 - Tale Spin
4:30 – Darkwing Duck
In 1992, Duck Tales was moved to weekday mornings and was replaced with Goof Troop (more quality Disney programming).  Although I missed Duck Tales, I liked Goof Troop so much that when my family went to Disney world in 1994 I remember crying when Goofy’s autograph smeared because I thought it was that valuable.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  At this phase of my life I really had nothing else going on from 3:00 until 5:00 (especially in the winter).  Plus, these shows were easy to have on in the background while I played with Legos.

1993-95: TGIF
8:00 – Family Matters
8:30 – Boy Meets World
9:00 – Step by Step
9:30 – Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper
Although TGIF started in 1988 and included three shows that I barely remember, it became a staple of my elementary school Friday nights.  The 1990-91 lineup of Full House, Family Matters, Dinosaurs (think “not the momma”), and Step by Step was stellar in its own right, but I believe that the real TGIF glory days came from 1993-95.  Boy Meets World is such quality programming that I made it my routine to catch it at 1:00 AM on the Disney Channel when I got home from the library during my junior year of college.  Some nights I felt like I was learning more from Mr. Feeny than I was from my Physics book.  Then the Disney Channel began playing Hannah Montana reruns in the 1:00 AM timeslot and, despite an angry e-mail to the Disney channel, hasn’t been on since.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I didn’t want to be left out of the conversation during Monday morning recess.  Plus, watching TGIF was a great excuse to have someone sleep over on a Friday night (we literally couldn’t come up with anything better to do on Fridays back then).

90s: Before School
Bobby’s World and eventually Rugrats (once I was mature enough) comprised my before school TV lineup.  There was no real “lineup” of programming in the mornings – I guess because they wanted kids to actually go to school.  As a side note, I now own Bobby’s World on DVD and it makes for great A-Bar entertainment.

1995-96: Must See TV
8:00 – Friends
8:30 – The Single Guy
9:00 – Seinfeld
9:30 – Caroline in the City (I guess)
10:00 – ER (I guess)
Another longstanding TV lineup, “Must See TV,” actually had its start in 1993.  Seinfeld easily dominated this lineup (unless you’re a woman and then you’d say Friends) and the second timeslot perennially sucked.  Actually, for about five years, I’m pretty sure that NBC planned to put whatever crappy shows they had lying around before and after Friends and Seinfeld.  I would give an honorable mention to Frasier, which made the lineup a few seasons, and a dishonorable mention to ER, which ran approximately 15 years too long.
Reason I Didn’t Miss it:  I would still consider Seinfeld to be the best show ever created and, although girly, Friends did have its moments.  By this time in my life I had regular homework and Thursday night television was the best form of procrastination I knew of since I still largely thought the internet was comprised of those channels that came with AOL.

Today: Television à la carte
Gone are the days when a lineup is of such quality that I actually schedule my whole day around it.  Today, if I want to catch one of my favorite shows (like The Office), I just tell my computer to record it.  The chances of there being two shows in a row that I want to watch are very unlikely.  Re-runs are plentiful and streaming video sites like Hulu and YouTube make watching Seinfeld extremely easy.  Today, when I want to watch shows like Dexter, Entourage, or The New Yankee Workshop (I’m probably the only viewer under 50 years old), I download them on torrents and am watching them a minute later.  Interesting that in 1992 I watched The Disney Afternoon because I had too much free time and today, there are too many shows available and the days are never long enough.

I finish grad school this spring.  Which means I will have to become a real person.  Which also means I’m currently in the midst of a job search.  As if this weren’t stressful enough, I also have the daunting task of figuring out where I want to live for the next few years.  I was thinking about this while sitting through a lecture on Utility Analysis of Healthcare Decisions last Friday and think I came up with a fool proof method. My conclusion: Delaware is the worst place to live in the US (from a completely unbiased, 23 year old, male perspective).  When it comes down to it, my criteria for choosing a place to live boil down to the following:

1. Price of Beer
2. Attractiveness of Women
3. Cost of Living
4. Weather
5. Music Entertainment
6. Sports Entertainment

1. Price of Beer
Beer currently constitutes a healthy chunk of my monthly credit card bill and, although I hope this spending will decrease when I become a real person, I’m sure it won’t disappear completely.  On Pintprice.com, users submit beer prices from cities all over the world and I was able to obtain hundreds of pint prices from US cities and calculate a per state average.

Limitations: Reporting of average pint price is voluntary, and therefore the sample size isn’t consistent; no data is available for Idaho and Wyoming (people must not drink there); the website didn’t indicate the recency of any of the prices.  Assumptions: Any submitted beer price <$1 was an outlier and therefore thrown out.

2. Attractiveness of Women
Since I’m single, this is an important one since I’m likely to date some ladies in my new home town and attractiveness would be a plus.  Also, my stock is probably only going down at this point.  I figured that a decent predictor of female attractiveness in my hypothetical new state would be America’s Health Ratings.  The data is expressed as a percent deviation from the national norm.

3. Cost of Living
In addition to beer prices being reasonable, since I’ll likely buy things other than beer once in a while, a low overall cost of living would probably be nice. The US Government’s Consumer Price Index (CPI), although not exactly cost of living, is a pretty good indicator of this.

Assumptions: I would live near a large city in each state (since CPI represents urban areas).  Limitations: If no CPI state data was available, I took regional average (shown above in italic).

4. Weather
Living in Wisconsin can be rough and when Winter seems to span from September until May during some years, it’s hard not to think about places like California and Florida.  Living in a place that has nicer weather that Wisconsin would probably improve my well-being (especially during January and February).  To analyze weather by state, I used the National Climate Data Center’s Average Percent of Possible Sunshine data.

5. Music Entertainment
Entertainment offered is crucial to having a social life outside of work and since I like concerts, plays, and especially Neil Diamond, I felt I needed to include this factor.  If cost of living is low, but there is nothing worthwhile to spend my extra money on anyway, I might as well just move back in with my parents.  To try to represent how many concerts are offered in each state, on 9-27-09, I searched ticketmaster.com for musical events in each state.

6. Sports Entertainment
Another important entertainment factor is how many sporting events I will be able to attend.  Therefore, I included in my analysis the total number of major professional sports teams in each state.

Assumptions: Since I would rather watch Wisconsin Badger football or basketball over any professional sport, I added an additional professional sport to Wisconsin’s total.  For geographic purposes, I included Washington D.C. as a part of Maryland.  Also, this data assumes that I care about the NBA.  In reality, in the last decade, I have really only attended pro football and baseball games.

Results

To compare results across the six criteria, I linearly transformed the data to a 0 to 100 scale.  The equation to obtain this new score is shown at right.  If low values were preferred instead of high values (such as price of beer and CPI), the result was subtracted from one before multiplying by 100.  After applying this transformation to the data, the following scores result.

In averaging the six criteria (instead of using a weighted average with importance ratings for each criteria) to calculate my overall state ranking, I’m assuming that they are of equal importance.  In reality, living somewhere with cheap beer is probably much more important than living somewhere with attractive women.  So there you have it.  It looks like I’ll be applying as much as possible in California, while avoiding Delaware like the plague.  Feel free to suggest any additional criteria that you think I should have included in my analysis.

Update 10-5-09: The complete data that I used to reach these results can be found here.

After others jumped on the band wagon that is “Play Density,” I figured it was time to give it a whirl (as Kevin McCallister would say).  Play Density is the ratio of song play count vs. the number of days its been in your library and, in V2, was refined to exclude songs in your library newer than seven days old.  To my surprise, although my iTunes playlist has been named “All Neil Diamond all the time” since I began sharing it Freshman year in the dorms, my Play Density includes very little Neil.

My biggest surprises include the prevalence of Enrique and the sheer number of country songs.  Not surprising is the number of recordings of the UW Drumline Cadences (since I had to memorize it last year).  Try it for yourself.  Although, I’ll warn you, it was much harder to do in Windows than described on a mac.

Friday, August 28 was truly a momentous day which I will forever remember for accomplishing one of my life’s greatest feats.  I’m actually not talking about finishing UW Marching Band Reg Week – which is the most physically demanding tryout week I have ever had to endure (much harder in fact than varsity football two-a-days).  I was happy that the days of six hour rehearsals and conditioning in the middle of August were over and regular rehearsal schedules would begin.  My much greater accomplishment, however, was managing to free myself of Madison’s own axis of evil, the Fourth Reich - Charter Communications.  Here are my own opinions why Charter is a terrible company and as I found, I’m evidently not alone.

1. Calling their customer service requires reading minds better than even Miss Cleo is capable.  Figuring out what I needed to say to their automated voice recognition software to actually talk to a human being took me 15 minutes.
2. I received junk mail about the charter bundle seven days a week – sometimes more than one letter a day – because Charter never removed past customers from my college address.  On more than one occasion I even threw away a bill because I thought it was more junk mail.  A company that knows anything about marketing should realize that convincing college students that they need a Landline would be an incredible accomplishment.
3. Figuring out what all of the charges, sub-charges, and sub-sub-charges on a bill actually mean is more confusing than computer science.  I had no idea what I was actually paying for and costs continually increased from month to month without Charter informing me.  Disputing these charges requires an hour long phone call (see #1) or threatening to switch to Direct TV.
4. Question: How hard is it to remove someone from an account?  Answer: Three phone calls and an eventual “required” trip to an actual Charter office.  This is something that should be easily done over the phone or the interweb.  Instead, we were told by two Charter employees that all I had to do was call and provide my SSN.  When I did that, the customer service “expert” told me that “no one would have told me that it was possible over the phone” and “sir, I’ve been working for Charter for 14 years, I think I know how to remove someone from an account.”  I think the only thing worse than being a Charter customer would probably be working 14 miserable years for the company…

What if I lived my life like Charter runs their business?

• When people owe me money, provide them with a list of chargeable sub-items which they do not understand.  For example, if I bought someone a beer at a bar, I would probably charge them for an intoxication fee, a money handling fee, a non-local beer fee (if it was an Anheuser Busch product), a pint glass renters fee, hangover insurance, and even a falangy fee (made up).
• Schedule appointments with people stating that I will arrive between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM.
• Constantly tell people how much money they could be saving if they bought two things that they don’t need and one that they actually do.
• Perform with mediocrity at both work and school, treat others as if they are indebted to me for the mediocre work, and then when I’m asked about it, provide people with a recording stating that my work isn’t actually mediocre.

Truthfully, I don’t believe Charter will be around long and hopefully filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on March 28, 2009 will speed up the process.  Much like AOL in the 90s, who once owned a large share of the internet market (cancelling an account with AOL literally took four hours – I remember doing it because my Dad didn’t have time), new players will come along, providing better customer service and a better product.  For example, AT&T has started providing cable and internet in Madison at a cheaper rate and seems like a much better option.

Marsha Rummel, 6th District Alderwoman who sponsored the Resolution to make the Flabongo the official bird of Madison

After years of hard work - transforming plastic flamingos into flabongos and drinking beer and the occasional franzia from their beaks – it’s finally official: the flabongo is now the official bird of Madison.  I would like to personally congratulate all those who made this possible, including my brother, roommate Andrew, Chilla the Gorilla, Warren, IIE, The Badgert Short Bus, Creepy J, and of course Marsha Rummel – the sponsor of the city council resolution.  I’m relieved that the Madison Common Council members are holding firm to the platforms for which they were each elected.  Now if only the university would let me take FAC for credit.

By nature, Wikipedia is an unstable source of information.  For this same reason, editing wikipedia can be frustrating and the huge nerds who edit it a lot will get upset if you do it incorrectly.  Although I’ve edited and created numerous wikipedia pages (from the subcontinental divide to the short bus), the correct information that I posted is still being changed by different users.  A friend of mine asked me the other day how to make a new wikipedia article that he wrote more legitimate.  Here are some suggestions:

• Create an account – this is more credible, anonymous users can’t edit pages which are vandalized a lot and can’t create new pages, and it’s a nice way to monitor articles that you’ve edited.
• Make sure the article doesn’t already exist.  Sometimes a redirect from an acronym or to a synonymous page is a much better edit than to make a page for no reason.
• Have as many third party sources as possible and learn how to correctly format and cite them.
• Learn how to format different styles (headers, sub headers, etc.) and link correctly.
• Explain all the changes you made in the “Edit Summary” field.
• Click “Show Preview” before “Save Page” – saving numerous minor edits in a row will irritate the wikipedia geeks.
• Keep your information neutral – avoid writing about things for which you have a conflict of interest (see just one example below)
• Correctly categorize your article.
• People will probably change what you’ve written.  Find more sources and communicate why it’s correct.

I Found Incorrect Information About MY Company or Organization, What do I do?
Someone at a Web & Multichannel Marketing Meeting that I organized for my job asked me how to properly edit your own company’s wikipedia page a few weeks ago.  Generally, it is never recommended to edit your own wikipedia page, whether you’re Microsoft or Michael Jordan.  However, if you must do it, from what I can tell this is how you should proceed:

1. Post your issue on the article’s discussion page and clearly identify yourself (being logged in under a user name is always more credible) and explain the discrepancy.  Citing third party sources will always make your argument more credible too.  Eventually (hopefully), a reputable wikipedia editor will notice the discussion and make the change for you.
2. Strategically insert “citation needed” tags after incorrect information.  Here’s how to do it.  Eventually (hopefully), someone will notice the lack of sources and make the change for you.
3. Contact the author who posted the incorrect information, introduce yourself, present your case (with sources), and request that they correct their post.
4. If all else fails, sometimes you can get away with making a change yourself.  Correcting simple facts, such as dates or names is considered by some to be ok.  However, for more complex information, there’s a debate between whether it’s better to make the change anonymously or logged in with a user name, but in my opinion it’s best to be as transparent as possible when editing.  If some wikipedia nerds were to find out that a company employee was editing wikipedia anonymously it would not go over as well as if it were edited with a user name (just my opinion). 

As I’ve written in other posts, being a brewers fan is not always an easy task and evidently 1970 (a 65-97 season) was no different.  Many are probably already familiar, but this was the year that Bernie Brewer was born.  However, Bernie started not as a large foam headed mascot with good hygiene, but rather a 69 year old retired aviation engineer (who I’ve heard, but haven’t confirmed, helped to build the original County Stadium).  This aviation engineer, Milt Mason, so loved the Brewers that to combat struggling attendance numbers during their first Milwaukee season, he stubbornly vowed (with a nudge from his friend, Marvin Milkes, the Brewers’ Operations Director) to sit on top of the scoreboard (81 steps high) until attendance at a home game reached 40,000 (at first his goal was a sellout but he eventually became more realistic).  He was even given a specially constructed trailer with a 21-inch-color TV, a gas stove, an exercise bike, a refrigerator, and two telephones for talking to fans and the media respectively.  Opposing coaches even accused him of stealing signs from his trailer with binoculars.  His goal was accomplished on Bat Day, August 16, 1970, when a crowd of 44,387 showed up just to get Milt down from the scoreboard (or wanted free bats).  To celebrate that day’s 4-3 victory over the Indians, Milt swung down from the scoreboard on a 30 foot rope (and supposedly badly burned his hands) before falling another 15 feet and breaking some bones.  Although I haven’t completely confirmed this, due to some pretty severe storms during those 40 days and Milt’s love of beer, I’ve heard that he could be smelled from just as far away as he could be seen on top of the scoreboard.  I’ve also heard that after those 40 days, Milt was never hard to find around County Stadium because fans could just follow their noses.  As a tribute to Milt, who died on June 12, 1973, Bernie Brewer became the team’s mascot in 1973 and celebrated Brewers’ success by sliding into a stein of beer (something that Miller Park has been criticized for omitting).  By the 1980s, Bernie began resembling wrestler Colonel DeBeers until he was retired in 1984.  Fortunately, in 1993, fans voted 21,751 to 1,389 to resurrect the Bernie Brewer that I grew up with and he returned on Tuesday, June 8, 1993 (who by then looked a lot more like Robin Yount).

Bonnie Brewer

As a side note, who knew that from 1973-79 there was also a Bonnie Brewer (Bernie has probably been lonely ever since).  Also, evidently, another blogger has also noticed that there seems to be a real lack of information on Milt Mason.  I’d love to see a picture or read some historical news accounts of the man.  I did just purchase True Brew: A Quarter Century With the Milwaukee Brewers – maybe it will shed a little more light on the subject.

Sources: Bernie Brewer makes comeback splash, USA Today, 1993, Wikipedia, brewers.com

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Update 7-23-09:  My new book, True Brew: A Quarter Century With the Milwaukee Brewers, has just arrived and it was well worth the $1.05 that it cost on amazon.com.  The chapter describing Milt has some great quotes from the man himself!  Here a some pictures of Milt Mason, the original Bernie Brewer, scanned from my new book.

 

Milt Mason Pictures from 1970

Milt Mason camped above the scoreboard during his 40 day protest	Milt Mason sliding down a rope after the win over the Indians	Milt Mason greeting fans at County Stadium

 

More Early Bernie Brewer Pictures

Bonnie Brewer spanking an Orioles coach during a seventh inning stretch	Bernie Brewer Slide 1978-83	Bernie’s Chalet being dismantled in ‘84 for outfield bleachers

 

Bernie’s Resurrection in ‘93

Bernie’s chalet in front of Country Stadium field	Bernie in his chalet (maybe falling over railing)	Bernie going down his slide
Bernie Brewer closeup going down his slide	Bernie Brewer slide backwards	Bernie putting out the vibe into the beer mug

Today I received an e-mail that was both flagged with a high importance red exclamation point and requested that I send a read receipt.  However, it turns out that the e-mail was neither “highly important” nor required urgent reading.  There are definitely a lot of e-mail manners that are violated on the interweb everyday.  Here are just a few that bother me (in what I believe to be order of severity).

Violation 8:  Assuming the person goes by a shortened name
Maybe I’m partial to this because everyone assumes that my name is “Matt” no matter how much I try to use Matthew – especially in a professional setting.  However, I try to stick to what’s listed in a digital signature unless someone offers a less formal name at the end of their message.

Violation 7: Using “Hey” in the salutation line
This one is largely personal preference, and was something that I had never thought about until I did a co-op with GE Healthcare.  The reality of starting an e-mail with “Hey ____,” is that it’s very informal.  When I e-mail my brother or someone who I go to the Karaoke Kidd at one in the morning with, it’s probably ok.  For anyone else in a professional setting, especially a superior, it’s probably inappropriate.

Violation 6:  E-mailing a co-worker sitting next door
My dad always told me growing up to never do something over the phone which can be done just as easily (and probably more effectively) in person.  I believe this is also true about my own ”e-mail generation.”  I don’t want to work in an office where face-to-face conversations are a thing of the past and when I have entire work days of only staring at my computer monitor, I’m much more fatigued than after a day of meetings with human interaction.  Receiving an e-mail from someone who sits 10 feet away asking me a yes or no question is just ridiculous.

Violation 5: Replying without my original message thread
I send and receive a lot of e-mails every day (sometimes during the school year as many as 150) and I have four different e-mail accounts IMAPed to my MS Outlook program.  Therefore, when I receive an e-mail response without my original message or an action item that I need to take care of with no thread history to provide background, it’s confusing and can be very time consuming for me to figure out what the person is talking about.

Violation 4: Accidental “Reply to all”
Check out the following thread, compliments of my classmate Scott:

—–Original Message—–
From: “Scott”
Sent: Wednesday, March 04, 2009 7:48 PM
To: “Matthew”
Subject: Re: RE: ISyE undergrad funding and valuable practical/project experience opportunity

I apparently sent this to the whole IE undergrad

—– Original Message —–
From: “Matthew”
Date: Wednesday, March 4, 2009 2:09 pm
Subject: RE: ISyE undergrad funding and valuable practical/project experience opportunity
To: “Scott”

Scott,
Did you intend to send this to me?
-Matthew

—–Original Message—–
From: “Scott”
Sent: Wednesday, March 04, 2009 12:08 PM
To: “Raj”
Cc: ieundergrad@engr.wisc.edu; “Roger”
Subject: Re: ISyE undergrad funding and valuable practical/project experience opportunity

I have a play I need to go to for acting at 730 and can work whenever that ends.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Raj”
Date: Tuesday, March 3, 2009 7:46 pm
Subject: ISyE undergrad funding and valuable practical/project experience opportunity
To: ieundergrad@engr.wisc.edu
Cc: “Raj”, “Roger”

ISyE Undergrad Student Assistants

Starting Summer 2009 and subsequent semesters (15 – 20 hours per week)

[etc…]

Oops…  Although, I appreciated that my friend Scott wanted to let me know that he was going to a play that night, I’m sure the rest of my department’s undergraduate mailing list wasn’t as interested.  The professor, “Raj” (who happens to be my boss) he was e-mailing about the job offer and ”Roger” (who happens to be my supervisor) were probably just as disinterested.

Violation 3: Angry e-mails
Tone is never portrayed well in an e-mail and in my experience sending someone an e-mail while in a heated mood almost always does more damage than good (especially in destroying future communication barriers and trust).  Using an e-mail in which caps lock is used to ”yell” at someone is also insulting.  My biggest problem with this, however, is that a co-worker wouldn’t have the decency to talk to me face-to-face about a conflict, but rather finds it necessary to e-mail you and rub it in by copying a few of your co-workers or supervisors.  This is also known as ”copying up” and one of the most ridiculous experiences I had with it came after I missed a church music rehearsal and the director decided to reprimand me with an e-mail in which our parish priest was copied.

Violation 2: Unnecessary flagging with “high importance”
An e-mail which is flagged as “highly important” (the red exclamation point) gets subconsciously sifted to my “highly unimportant” e-mail folder.  E-mail importance is in the eye of the beholder and I’ll decide which messages in my inbox make the list.

Violation 1: Read receipts
To me the single most insulting e-mail habit is sending a read receipt with a message and it causes me to instantly lose interest (or maybe respect for the sender) for whatever the e-mail was about.  To me, this informs the recipient, “I don’t think you’re responsible enough to respond to my e-mail in a timely manner so I’m going to make you feel guilty and let me know how soon you’ll take care of the issue.”  This is especially annoying when you are a part time research assistant and you check e-mail at all hours of the day.  This option can also be turned off (at the risk of your untrustworthy coworkers thinking you never read their e-mails).  The only thing worse than an e-mail with a read receipt is one that contains both a read receipt and a “high importance” flag.

…and please don’t send facebook messages which contain any importance whatsoever, unless it has to do with going to the Karaoke Kidd…